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Top Ten Tools Needed To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

October 31, 2013

To Celebrate Halloween, While Also Capitalizing On America’s New Obsession With The Walking Dead, We’ve Compiled Our Top Ten Tools To Have For The Zombie Apocalypse…

Part 4

5. The Hitachi CS33EB16 32 cc 2 Stroke Gas Powered Rear Handle Chain Saw With 16″ Oregon Bar And Chain maybe loud, but if your going down, don’t be afraid to go down in style. Find yourself with a fresh bite wound on your left hand no problem, just fire up this bad boy and watch as amputations are made easy. Then just attach this where your hand use to be, holler out “Groovy” and go to work, as this chain saw provides excellent cutting performance and reliability. In addition, the five point anti-vibration system provides maximum comfort as you are sawing your way to safety, and all with less fatigue to boot. Finally, the 16″ Oregon bar and chain reduces overall kickback and provides a superior cutting performance.

Hitachi CS33EB16 32 cc 2 Stroke Gas Powered Rear Handle Chain Saw with 16" Oregon Bar

4.WD40 10010 1 gallon wd-40. No we are not kidding. Let me just list everything this post apocalypse life saving solution does for you and your tools; Cleans resin encrusted table saw blades, removes oil and tar from hands, protects tools from corrosion, protects band-saw bearings, cleans metal surfaces, lubricates flashlight battery compartments to ease the removal of stuck batteries, cleans rusty saws, removes pine pitch (and most likely zombie bits and pieces) from table saw blades, prevents rust on clamps, keeps metal filing tools from filling with lead or zinc. Last but not least, it can even help you fix watches, just in case your trying to figure out how much time you have before your next watch.

3. Motorola RDU4100 10 Channel UHF Water Resistant 2 Way Radio. Number three in our countdown, these two way radios are water resistant and deliver you up to 4 watts of power. Plus, a 38 analog and 83 digital interference eliminator codes, three VOX sensitivities, as well as two programmable buttons. Its pretty Fly!  Additionally the radios 22 hours of battery life may just might save your life, unless of course your wife calls while you and your swat team are sneaking out of a plane onto a runway overridden by Olympic sprinting zombies… It’s like seriously Brad turn off your radio..

Dewalt DCHJ061C1-3XL 20V/12 Max Black Heated Hooded Jacket

2. DeWalt DCHJ061C1-3XL Triple Extra Large 20V/12V MAX Black Hooded Heated Jacket Kit. Our number two pick as the must have tool for a zombie apocalypse. Running from zombies requires a lot of ingenious hiding such as in the woods, damp stair cases, or even cold cement filled prisons. Here is where the DeWalt Max Black Hooded Heat Jacket becomes priceless. With the use of 20V MAX and 12V MAX batteries, it can provide hours of core body warmth and continuous heat thanks to its three core heating zones located in the upper left and right chest, as well as your mid back. The jacket is also durable in water and is equipped with a wind resistant outer shell. Go ahead and buy the XXXL size and grab a couple of people to bundle up with at night, just be sure they are still alive before you zip up together…

Estwing ETA Tomahawk

1. Save a bullet and get a Tomahawk as killing the undead never got cooler than doing it with the Estwing ETA Tomahawk with leather grip. This black eagle tomahawk is perfectly balanced and weighted and is designed for sportsman and military professionals. In addition the leather grip provides superior comfort while lobotomizing zombies… Don’t be surprised if you see Daryl sporting one of these bad boys with a red mohawk and some long feather earrings by the end of the season.. it’s not like stranger things haven’t happened on the show.

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